Really, Toddlers & Tiaras?

I'm not going to lie: I love Toddlers & Tiaras. It's embarrassing, but I can't help it. It's addicting in the worst way.  Usually you see obese moms (although sometimes disturbingly enough you get 'Pageant Dad's, too) that are living vicariously through their children, who are usually somehow much more attractive than their genetic dead-beat parents.There's always an excess of rhinestones and fake hair, and eyeliner thatOccasionally you might see a parent who's pushing too hard on a kid who obviously doesn't want to be there, but for the most part the kids seem to if not be happy, at least be drugged enough with pixie stix ("pageant crack", as their so adorably called...) or 'special juice', which is basically mountain dew with the label ripped off.

But Season 5 Episode 2 was shocking, even for this show.

1. Kyle and Kevin or something (I don't pay attention to the boys...they don't do anything). Cute boys...although Kevin was only 2 weeks old, which is fuckin' creepy.
2. Eden Wood who redefines 'Diva' (yet somehow she's still adorable?!). If my kid threw tantrums like that, I'd smack them, but I didn't hate Eden for it. Also her mother, while entirely absurd in the amount of money she admitted to spending on pageants ("around $65,000-$70,000 overall". Excuse me?) was really funny, and overall a likable person.
3. The Sterlings (5 little girls...), mother Jamie, who is a TOTAL BITCH oh my goodness. Don't believe me? Let me explain. Not only is she a harried and incompetent mother of five, but two of her girls are fraternal twins, BreAnne and AshLynn (around 6 or so) and therefore are competing in the same age group. The father of the girls was reticent about letting his wife do this as he was concerned, and rightly so, about unhealthy competition between them. And it's obvious to see that these two girls are not as close as sisters (let alone twins) of this age should be. AshLynn is painfully shy, and clearly insecure about herself, and the success in pageants of her sister. Jamie claims that BreAnne wins more pageants, and then goes on to say things like:

• "BreAnne looks the most like mommy...she's probably the prettiest out of the five."
• "BreAnne wins because she's fun and outgoing. And AshLynn is just AshLynn."
• About AshLynn: "She did fine, nothing spectacular", whereas "BREANNE DID GREAT! SHE'S A NATURAL!".

How fucked up is that? AshLynn ended up winning 3rd Runner Up, which considering there were over 20 girls in her age group, I think is impressive (BreAnne ended up winning 2nd Runner Up, even though her father yanked her out of the competition for being "a spoiled little brat"...GO DAD!). AshLynn also won Director's Choice. To both of AshLynn's awards, instead of her mother congratulating her shy daughter, the mother expressed how "shocked" she was that AshLynn won anything, because she didn't think she'd "do well at all". Not only do I just NOT understand how anyone could treat their children like this...I don't know how she hasn't had her children, at least AshLynn, taken away from her. That girl is going to grow up with some sort of disorder. But oh trust me. It gets worse. At the very end, the bitchy BreAnne is back (I love alliteration) and when AshLynn is saying "I won I won!" BreAnne goes "no you didn't, I won...2nd runner up in our age group". AshLynn: How do you know, you were asleep! BreAnne: Yes I did...ask mommy"

Don't, AshLynn. Just don't. Yikes.

~Margs ♥